As always, I loved reading your thoughts and following along on the thought journey. Asking questions of ourselves and turning over the rocks and logs inside along the way is big work; what if we don’t like what’s in there? Terrifying. Then I remind myself that this liberation and fullness of humanity is what I would want for someone I love. For what it’s worth, if I ever write my memoirs, I think I might called them “I Crapped My Pants All the Way to Rumi’s Field”.
Madeleine, I have a deep sense that your memoirs would be something very life giving to behold, something that causes others to unspool a bit more towards the light, towards whatever current names they have for love. Can I cheer you on in writing such a thing? Does it feel genuinely bright? You seem to have lived a thousand lives
Oh, I feel that, about not being made to watch life happen. I am currently very much in a space of small delights. I’m on a medical leave and have the ability to slow down to a pace that feels so human and good. I can’t bear to go back to being busy, to cutting the edges off my own life and inner world in order to get shit done. I may not be able to any ways, if things don’t improve health wise, there’s that. I want to join the Quakers for awhile. I went to Quaker meetings when we lived in Toronto and I loved sitting in silence with others.
Your creative renaissance sounds wonderful!!! I am truly happy that I get to experience some of the fruits of that blossoming in your writing ❤️. You have a writer’s voice that is truly original. When I read your writing I am reminded of the glee of sticking my feet out of the back window of my uncle’s Mercury in the ‘80’s, and coasting down the highway in Wyoming in summer, but also the gravity and solace of an old song. What a gift you have. I hope you share it for as long as it feels right, and inviting in readers to share a bit of your world.
Thank you for your encouragement re: the idea of memoirs and of being a cheerleader ❤️. So kind!
🥰 hmmm, I’ve never truly or seriously thought of writing a memoir. There’s a reflection that’s been humming in my heart for a couple of weeks, but I’ve also had a brain fart that’s lasted for that same time, and can’t seem to focus on anything. I’m waiting for the muse to return.
Yeah, I’m currently in something that feels like a creative renaissance which feels fucking wonderful. I wouldn’t (currently) feel bright about writing a memoir but I’m lcoing hthe delight essays that are flowing through and helping me to be more conscious of how my mind can get itself in a dire pickle and then convince the rest of me that that is the Whole Truth. Tracking delight kind of cuts the wires on all that shenaninganry. Shit. How does one spell she nannn ihhh gen ree? And I have ACTIVELY struggled with what I would call spectator addiction. Watching other lives, reels, posts, essays. All the while my little maker self, the part of me that longs to and is designed to co-create with All of Life, just kind of withers and feels insecure because she isn’t made to watch life happen.
Thanks for showing up for the deep journey (in yourself) and in the world. I think deconditioning is one of the sneakiest and most difficult concepts to show up really honesty for.
To be Frank, this is one of the most beautiful and important things I’ve read. Thank you for being so ALIVE, and willing to clear the brush for others..like me to see the path ahead more clearly
It was kind of a weird edge to write into it because I hadn’t actually taken the time to “get good with” what my nuanced truth was but found myself alternately cringing and raging out and realized I needed to carve into some truer heart distinctions, for myself. All that to say, thank you for reading and responding. It’s good company on this edgy journey of coming awake together.
As always, I loved reading your thoughts and following along on the thought journey. Asking questions of ourselves and turning over the rocks and logs inside along the way is big work; what if we don’t like what’s in there? Terrifying. Then I remind myself that this liberation and fullness of humanity is what I would want for someone I love. For what it’s worth, if I ever write my memoirs, I think I might called them “I Crapped My Pants All the Way to Rumi’s Field”.
Madeleine, I have a deep sense that your memoirs would be something very life giving to behold, something that causes others to unspool a bit more towards the light, towards whatever current names they have for love. Can I cheer you on in writing such a thing? Does it feel genuinely bright? You seem to have lived a thousand lives
Hope that you have a deeply satisfying time with your family over Xmas….
Oh, I feel that, about not being made to watch life happen. I am currently very much in a space of small delights. I’m on a medical leave and have the ability to slow down to a pace that feels so human and good. I can’t bear to go back to being busy, to cutting the edges off my own life and inner world in order to get shit done. I may not be able to any ways, if things don’t improve health wise, there’s that. I want to join the Quakers for awhile. I went to Quaker meetings when we lived in Toronto and I loved sitting in silence with others.
Your creative renaissance sounds wonderful!!! I am truly happy that I get to experience some of the fruits of that blossoming in your writing ❤️. You have a writer’s voice that is truly original. When I read your writing I am reminded of the glee of sticking my feet out of the back window of my uncle’s Mercury in the ‘80’s, and coasting down the highway in Wyoming in summer, but also the gravity and solace of an old song. What a gift you have. I hope you share it for as long as it feels right, and inviting in readers to share a bit of your world.
Thank you for your encouragement re: the idea of memoirs and of being a cheerleader ❤️. So kind!
Hmm, now I’m curious about health dance. Gonna go figure out how to dm you
🥰 hmmm, I’ve never truly or seriously thought of writing a memoir. There’s a reflection that’s been humming in my heart for a couple of weeks, but I’ve also had a brain fart that’s lasted for that same time, and can’t seem to focus on anything. I’m waiting for the muse to return.
Yeah, I’m currently in something that feels like a creative renaissance which feels fucking wonderful. I wouldn’t (currently) feel bright about writing a memoir but I’m lcoing hthe delight essays that are flowing through and helping me to be more conscious of how my mind can get itself in a dire pickle and then convince the rest of me that that is the Whole Truth. Tracking delight kind of cuts the wires on all that shenaninganry. Shit. How does one spell she nannn ihhh gen ree? And I have ACTIVELY struggled with what I would call spectator addiction. Watching other lives, reels, posts, essays. All the while my little maker self, the part of me that longs to and is designed to co-create with All of Life, just kind of withers and feels insecure because she isn’t made to watch life happen.
Thank you for the deep questioning you do of your own conditioning, which in turn helps us to question ours. You're blowing my heartmind out here!
Thanks for showing up for the deep journey (in yourself) and in the world. I think deconditioning is one of the sneakiest and most difficult concepts to show up really honesty for.
Yeah it can get a little ugly but for me it's the only way. Everything else is just denial
To be Frank, this is one of the most beautiful and important things I’ve read. Thank you for being so ALIVE, and willing to clear the brush for others..like me to see the path ahead more clearly
I love that we are finally being Frank ;). Thanks toots.
Thank you for this!
It was kind of a weird edge to write into it because I hadn’t actually taken the time to “get good with” what my nuanced truth was but found myself alternately cringing and raging out and realized I needed to carve into some truer heart distinctions, for myself. All that to say, thank you for reading and responding. It’s good company on this edgy journey of coming awake together.
Amen!